The Wedding Vow Compilation
by urban countrygirl
Summary: Who else is excited for Shamy's wedding? The thing I'm mostly looking forward to are their (hopefully very quirky) wedding vows. How could they sound like? Here are some ideas... #forscience
1. The Calculus Comparison

**The Calculus Comparison**

If our love was a function in dependence of x, f(x) you could also say

x representing time from our first meeting until the very last day

then I could do some calculus and find the function's derivatives

they'd help me figure out the local heights and depths that love is made with

then I would know from the beginning the good and bad times in advance

and even more the turning points that would facilitate another chance

Howsoever, love's not a function, what measurement would underlie?

But if it was and x approached infinity, the limit was the sky.

 **So, I hope this little poem does make any sense! It's not easy to write about mathematical expressions in a foreign language, LOL! Anyway, I found this a very "sheldonish" way to express his eternal and endless love for Amy. Oh, I forgot to say: this wedding vow is from Sheldon, of course. ;-)**

 **Btw, I loved Leonard's wedding vow at their Las Vegas wedding so much, it really gave me goosebumps! I hope the writers will find something similar beautiful for Shamy's wedding!**


	2. The wedding-night coincidence (excerpt)

**The following text is an excerpt from my story "Die Hochzeitsnacht-Koinzidenz", that I haven't translated in English yet.**

Finally, the time for the wedding vows had come. Sheldon was the first to read.

"Amy, wedding couples normally state to love each other wholeheartedly. I don't do that, my heart does not really care for you that much." In the church, scattered sounds of gasping could be heard. "But my limbic system, the prefrontal cortex and further areas of my astonishing brain are almost constantly busy with loving you.

If you should decide to go to the end of the world, I'd wish you luck and stay at home, because I would find that an asinine undertaking, but I will accompany you to all the places in this world, where your journey of life will lead you.

I can not promise you to love you till eternity, because one day I will die, and I really, really cannot imagine to start another live in a different place then." He looked at his mother apologetically.

"But I will love you, till I'll take my last breath.

We're scientists, Amy. We tend to express everything very accurate and precise, to examine and question everything, even our own feelings. But sometimes, they're overwhelming. I know where lovesickness results from and I still have to endure the physical pain when you're not there. I know what happens when I have an orgasm and it still feels so incredibly good every time, that I loose my mind for a brief moment." At this point, pained groaning could be heard from between the pews, again.

"I can name all the hormones which are involved in the development of love, split them into their chemical elements, tell you their place in the periodic table with their atomic number, the amount of their isotopes and their radioactivity and still they rule me and not vice versa. And you know what? I don't care anymore. I'm rather the hostage of my feelings than living one more day without your love. And as for you", now Sheldon turned to the wedding guests. "To say it with the words of the great Bilbo Baggins: I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

In many places handkerchiefs were drawn, now, sometimes heads were shaken because of Sheldon's partly impertinent, partly deeply touching statements and some of the guests tried desperately to figure out what his last words could have meant.

Amy was already fighting the tears when she started reading her vow. "I've never believed in destiny, Sheldon, but always in good and less good decisions, as well as lucky and less lucky happenstances. And that hasn't changed until today. But I think that it was my best decision ever to sign up for that partnership website and that it was the luckiest happenstance in my whole life that Howard and Raj registered you at the same time. It was maybe not my destiny to meet you, but the most beautiful thing that could ever happen to me."


	3. The Crossword (excerpt)

**The following is an excerpt from my story "The Crossword" from my collection of wedding proposal scenarios, that I haven't translated yet (yeah, shame on me** **;-)** **). So, originally, this speech was written as a wedding proposal, but I think it's also very suitable as a wedding vow. And, of course, it's from Sheldon (I promise I'm trying to find something for Amy, too!)**

"Amy, I've always been – and I still am – proud of my brain and the things about it that make it different from other person's brains. But meanwhile I have realized that maybe the biggest and most important function of the human brain, and therefore also of my own brain, is the – luckily widespread – ability of loving somebody. And this realization I owe to you and all the little und great experiences, that we made together. Because of you, I know that I don't have to fight my feelings, that I can allow them and still can be a genius scientist. I don't have to be evil, mean and coldhearted and I don't need to have the wish to rule the world, as the movies and comic books of my childhood, youth and early adolescence have made me believe. I can use my extraordinary intelligence to explore the mysteries of the universe and still I can be a loving husband. Because that's, what I want to be, Amy, your husband."


	4. Chapter 4

_Amy:_

Eight years ago, everything I wanted was a crispy sandwich roasted in my mother's George Foremann grill.

Today, everything I want is nothing less than life in all its colors, shapes and ups and downs. And you're not only the reason for that dream, but also the reason for it becoming true. I want to thank you for coming into my life and giving me friendship, appreciation, hope and love. I guess a sandwich couldn't have had the same impact. _Whispering and smiling:_ That's sarcasm, Sheldon, I know it wouldn't have had the same impact.

 _Sheldon:_

As I scientist I need to have theories. Once I had the theory that Sheldon Cooper doesn't need a girlfriend. But then I met you and I realized that I was wrong. So, you became my girlfriend and I had to adjust my theory. Now it said that Sheldon Cooper needs a girlfriend, but not the physical and lovey-dovey stuff that normally comes with it. And as you know, I was wrong again. But I just didn't want to break my theory, I thought it was such a good one. So I tried to hold on it and repair it and adjust it a little when it got cracks here and there... But then there came the day when everything broke down completely and I had to admit the truth: my theory was wrong.  
Now I have a new one, and I know that this theory will be proven right every day: Sheldon Cooper loves Amy Farrah Fowler and there's nothing that can hold him back anymore.


End file.
